Is This Normal?
The early days with a new baby can feel confusing, overwhelming, and exhausting — especially at night. Many new mums worry that something is wrong, when in fact their baby’s behaviour is very common.
"You are not doing anything wrong."
Feeding Very Frequently
Many babies feed much more often than expected in the first weeks. It is normal for newborns to:
- Feed 8–12 times (or more) in 24 hours
- Want feeds close together (cluster feeding)
- Feed again shortly after finishing
These patterns can also be seen in formula-fed babies, particularly during growth spurts or periods of adjustment.
Why? Babies have very small stomachs in the early days. Frequent feeding builds your milk supply, helps them feel safe, and regulates their temperature. It does not automatically mean you have "low milk".
Feeding More at Night
It is very common for babies to feed more at night than during the day. Newborns do not yet understand day and night.
- They sleep lightly and wake frequently
- They are biologically wired to feed overnight
Reassurance: This does not mean your baby will "never sleep" or that you are creating bad habits. Waking frequently is actually protective for newborns.
Wanting to be Held
Many babies struggle to settle when put down, especially at night. They are adjusting to life outside the womb where they had constant warmth and movement.
Is it spoiling them? No. It is impossible to spoil a newborn with cuddles. Responding to their need for contact makes them feel secure.
Fussiness After Feeds
Squirming, crying, or pulling off the breast/bottle can be distressing to watch. Common reasons include:
- Wind: Their digestive system is brand new.
- Growth Spurts: Common at 2–3 weeks and 6 weeks.
- Tiredness: Over-tired babies often find it harder to feed.
Short Sleep Stretches
In the first weeks, sleep is unpredictable. "Sleeping through the night" is a developmental milestone that comes much later.
Did you know? Babies have a sleep cycle of about 45–60 minutes. They often stir, grunt, or cry out between cycles. This is called "Active Sleep". You might not need to rush in immediately if they are just settling.
Soreness When Feeding
Mild tenderness in the first few days is common as you both learn. However, persistent pain, cracks, or bleeding are not things you have to tolerate.
Seeking help early (from a midwife, health visitor, or breastfeeding support service) can fix the latch and stop the pain. It is a sign of care, not failure.
"How do I know they are okay?"
It is normal to worry about milk supply and whether you are "doing it right". Many of these worries settle as your confidence grows. In general, your baby is likely doing well if:
When to ask for extra support
It is always okay to ask for help. You should speak to a health professional (Midwife, Health Visitor or GP) if:
- Feeding is consistently painful or difficult
- Your baby is not regaining birth weight by 2 weeks
- You feel consistently overwhelmed, distressed, or unable to cope
- Something just "doesn't feel right" to you (Trust your instincts)
UK Support Numbers
Save these in your phone now.
If you think it’s an emergency, call 999.
A Gentle Reminder
The early weeks with a baby are intense. They are not a test of your ability, strength, or worth as a parent. Needing reassurance does not mean you are failing. Struggling does not mean you are doing it wrong. Asking for help does not mean you are weak.
You are learning — and so is your baby.