What I Wish I'd Known Before Breastfeeding
The honest, judgement-free guide that prepares you for the reality – because knowing what to expect makes all the difference.
"Nobody told me breastfeeding would be this hard."
— Every new mum, at some point
In this article
Research shows that most UK mums want to breastfeed, but many stop earlier than they planned – often because they felt unprepared for how challenging it can be. This page exists to change that. No pressure. No judgement. Just honesty about what to expect.
1 Breastfeeding isn't instantly easy
Here's the truth that antenatal classes sometimes gloss over: breastfeeding is a skill. It's learned. By you and your baby. Neither of you has done this before, and it takes practice.
In the early days, it can feel relentless. Newborns feed frequently – sometimes 8 to 12 times in 24 hours – and feeds can last anywhere from 10 minutes to over an hour. This is normal. It doesn't mean your milk isn't enough.
What helps
- Skin-to-skin contact in the first hour after birth
- Letting baby feed on demand (not by the clock)
- Asking a midwife to check your latch before you leave hospital
- Lowering your expectations for the first two weeks
The first two weeks are survival mode. If you're still in your pyjamas, surrounded by muslins, and have no idea what day it is – you're doing it right.
2 Soreness vs pain – what's normal?
Let's be clear: some tenderness in the early days is common. But breastfeeding should not be painful. There's a difference.
Normal (temporary)
- Tenderness when baby first latches
- Sensitivity that eases after 30–60 seconds
- Nipples that feel "used" but not damaged
- Discomfort that improves each day
Not normal (get help)
- Pain that makes you dread feeds
- Cracked, bleeding, or blistered nipples
- Pain that lasts throughout the entire feed
- Nipples that come out flattened or misshapen
Ongoing pain usually means something can be fixed – most often the latch, but sometimes tongue-tie or positioning. Pain is your body telling you to get support.
"I thought pain was just part of it. Turns out my baby had a tongue-tie. Once it was sorted, feeding was completely different."
— Mum of one, Bristol
3 Why supply worries are so common
"Am I making enough milk?" is one of the most common worries for new mums. It's also one of the most misunderstood.
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Baby wants to feed constantly
Cluster feeding (especially in the evening) is completely normal and helps build your supply.
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Your breasts feel softer
After the first few weeks, engorgement settles. Soft breasts don't mean empty breasts.
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Baby is unsettled at night
Newborns are often unsettled. It doesn't automatically mean they're hungry.
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You can only pump a small amount
Pumps are not as efficient as babies. What you pump is not an indication of what your baby is getting.
Real signs baby is getting enough
- • 6+ heavy wet nappies a day (from day 5)
- • Yellow, seedy poos (after the first few days)
- • Weight gain following their centile line
- • Alert and responsive when awake
If you're worried, get baby weighed. That's the clearest answer.
4 Every baby feeds differently
Some babies are efficient feeders – on and off in 10 minutes. Others like to take their time. Some cluster feed in the evening; others spread feeds evenly. There is no single "right" way.
The Snacker
Little and often. Feeds every hour. Perfectly normal.
The Sleepy Feeder
Falls asleep after 5 minutes. Needs tickling to stay awake.
The Marathon Feeder
Feeds for 45 minutes, both sides. Get snacks. Accept it.
Your job is not to make your baby feed like someone else's. Your job is to follow their lead and watch for signs they're thriving.
5 Mixed feeding is not failure
This is important: combining breastfeeding with formula does not mean you've failed.
Some mums combine breast and bottle from the start. Some introduce formula later. Some breastfeed during the day and give formula at night. All of these are valid ways to feed your baby.
Reasons mums choose mixed feeding:
- Returning to work
- Wanting a partner to share night feeds
- Medical reasons or medication
- Mental health and exhaustion
- Baby struggling to gain weight
- Simply because it works better for their family
You do not owe anyone an explanation. Fed is fed. A happy mum matters as much as a fed baby.
"I was so hung up on 'exclusive' breastfeeding that I made myself ill. When I finally introduced one bottle at bedtime, everything changed."
— Mum of two, Manchester
6 Where to get help
If breastfeeding is hard, painful, or not going how you hoped – please reach out. Support can make an enormous difference.
If you think it’s an emergency, call 999.
National Breastfeeding Helpline
0300 100 0212
9:30am–9:30pm, every day
La Leche League GB
0345 120 2918
Trained breastfeeding counsellors
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
0300 330 5453
Volunteer mum-to-mum support
Your Midwife or Health Visitor
Can arrange home visits and check your baby’s weight
You don’t have to be in crisis to call. Even if you just want reassurance – that’s what these services are for.
The bottom line
Breastfeeding can be beautiful, challenging, exhausting, and rewarding – sometimes all in the same day. Whatever your journey looks like, you're doing an incredible job.
The best way to feed your baby is the way that works for you. Trust yourself. Ask for help when you need it. And be kind to yourself along the way.