What I Wish I'd Known Before Breastfeeding
The honest, judgement-free guide that prepares you for the reality – because knowing what to expect makes all the difference.
“Breastfeeding is natural, but it is also a skill that you and your baby learn together.”
Support is available before and after your baby arrives.
In this article
Many parents find breastfeeding different from what they expected. This guide explains what may happen, what can help and when to ask for support. No pressure. No judgement. Just practical preparation.
1 Breastfeeding isn't instantly easy
Here's the truth that antenatal classes sometimes gloss over: breastfeeding is a skill. It's learned. By you and your baby. Neither of you has done this before, and it takes practice.
In the first few weeks, babies often feed at least 8 to 12 times in 24 hours, sometimes more. Some feeds are short and others are longer. Feed responsively and ask for help if your baby seems to feed constantly and you are worried, as positioning and attachment may need checking.
What helps
- Skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible — and later too, if it was delayed
- Feeding responsively when baby shows early cues, rather than waiting for crying
- Asking a midwife to watch a whole feed and check positioning and attachment
- Finding local and telephone support before you need it
Skin-to-skin is still valuable if it cannot happen immediately after birth. Your maternity team can also help you express colostrum if your baby cannot feed at the breast straight away.
2 Soreness vs pain – what's normal?
Nipple soreness is common in the first few days, but pain at every feed, cracked or bleeding nipples, or pain that continues needs early help. A midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding supporter can watch a feed and check positioning and attachment.
Normal (temporary)
- The first few sucks may feel strong
- Early sensitivity that is improving
- Your nipple keeps roughly the same shape and colour after a feed
- Feeds become more comfortable with good attachment
Not normal (get help)
- Pain at every feed or pain that is getting worse
- Cracked, bleeding, or blistered nipples
- Pain that lasts throughout the entire feed
- Nipples that come out flattened or misshapen
Poor attachment is a common cause of nipple pain. Other causes can include tongue-tie or infection, so get help rather than trying to tolerate ongoing pain.
Get help early: cracked or bleeding nipples increase the risk of infection. Contact your midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding supporter as soon as you can.
3 Why supply worries are so common
"Am I making enough milk?" is one of the most common worries for new mums. It's also one of the most misunderstood.
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Baby wants to feed very frequently
Cluster feeding can be normal and frequent feeding helps build supply. If it feels constant and you are worried, ask someone skilled to check a feed.
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Your breasts feel softer
After the first few weeks, engorgement settles. Soft breasts don't mean empty breasts.
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Baby is unsettled at night
Newborns may be unsettled for many reasons. Look at feeding, swallowing, nappies, weight and alertness together rather than one sign alone.
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You can only express a small amount
The amount expressed at one session does not, by itself, show how much milk your baby gets at the breast.
Real signs baby is getting enough
- • 6+ heavy wet nappies a day (from day 5)
- • From day 4, at least 2 soft yellow poos each day for the first few weeks
- • Steady weight gain after the normal early weight loss
- • Rhythmic sucking and swallowing, with baby alert when awake
No single sign gives the whole answer. If you are worried, ask your midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding specialist to assess feeding and advise when your baby should be weighed.
Read the NHS signs that a baby is getting enough milk4 Every baby feeds differently
Feed length and spacing vary. What matters is effective attachment and swallowing, enough wet and dirty nappies, appropriate weight gain, and how your baby looks and behaves.
Short, frequent feeds
Can be normal when you can see or hear swallowing and other feeding signs are reassuring.
Very sleepy feeds
Ask for help if baby falls asleep before deep swallowing, feeds poorly or is difficult to wake.
Long or clustered feeds
May happen, but get attachment checked if feeds feel constant, painful or ineffective.
Follow your baby's cues, but seek prompt medical advice if your baby is not feeding normally, has drier nappies than usual, or is unusually difficult to wake.
5 Mixed feeding is not failure
This is important: combining breastfeeding with formula does not mean you've failed.
Families combine breast and bottle feeding for many reasons. If you want to keep breastfeeding, it helps to know that replacing breastfeeds with formula can reduce milk supply, particularly before breastfeeding is established. A midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding supporter can help you make a plan.
Reasons mums choose mixed feeding:
- Returning to work
- Wanting a partner to share night feeds
- Medical reasons or medication
- Mental health and exhaustion
- Baby struggling to gain weight
- Simply because it works better for their family
Your wellbeing and your baby's nutrition both matter. If you use formula, use first infant formula unless a health professional advises otherwise and follow NHS preparation guidance carefully.
Planning mixed feeding? Introducing bottles gradually, where possible, can give your body time to adjust and reduce the chance of engorgement or mastitis.
Read the NHS mixed-feeding guidance6 Where to get help
If breastfeeding is hard, painful, or not going how you hoped – please reach out. Support can make an enormous difference.
If your baby is not feeding normally and you are worried, contact your GP, midwife or health visitor; call NHS 111 when they are unavailable. Call 999 if your baby will not wake, stops breathing or is struggling to breathe.
Your Midwife or Health Visitor
Can arrange home visits and check your baby’s weight
You don’t have to be in crisis to call. Even if you just want reassurance – that’s what these services are for.
The bottom line
Breastfeeding can be beautiful, challenging, exhausting, and rewarding – sometimes all in the same day. Whatever your journey looks like, you're doing an incredible job.
The right feeding plan is one that safely nourishes your baby and supports your wellbeing. You deserve clear information and support without judgement. Ask for help when you need it, and be kind to yourself along the way.